muggles.

- Gotye, "Coming Back"

I stretch and shift
These parts won't fit
I can chop and change all I like
Rearranging this won't make it right

-Gotye, "Puzzle With a Piece Missing"

But the problem with me was that as soon as I started thinking about getting it together, I got this mad craving desire to fuck it up.

The Torn Skirt
Rebecca Godfrey

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

( buy these for molly )

Second, I miss my rats.  They will have to come to school with me next year because I will otherwise miss them too much. 

Brother: total good-guy.  Not very good at sports in high school but joins the marching band and the yearbook staff.  Goes through a short period of sexuality questioning but eventually realizes that he likes girls too much when he sees Bonnie Brown's naked breasts in an accidental backstage encounter. 

Sister: a little bit of a bitch, but within the realm of normalacy.  Latches on to Brother's guy friends and often makes a pest of herself without realizing it.  Is afraid of being pressured into sex.  Has frequent spats with Mama and gets Papa to side with her.  Ends up getting in trouble for refusing to dissect in biology class.  Finds her niche in show choir.   

Mama and Papa: not terribly different, although they face a few issues with Papa's "wandering eyes" and occasional trips to the Bear Country Strip Club.  Mama ends up going on Lexapro and mellows out a little bit.  Gets into some fights with the women in the knitting club first.  Papa burns his porn collection out of shame when Brother discovers "Bare Bears Bare All."

Queenie: has sex with all of Too-Tall's gang, although she only dates Too-Tall.  Has several pregnancy scares.  Flirts shamelessly with Teacher Bob, Actual Factual (so he would help her on a science project), and Too-Ton (Too-Tall's dad).  Works at the tanning salon just so she can get a discount.  Often goes to classes at Bear Country School without wearing a bra. 

Cousin Fred: terrified of the future.  Has mild anxiety attacks on a regular basis and developed OCD-tendencies during junior high.  Also struggled with sexual identity, but to a larger extent than Brother.  Relies on a private, home-grown stash of marijuana to make it through finals week each semester.  

Lizzy Bruin: very jealous of Sister and is responsible for several nasty rumors about her, although never admits responsibility.  Works at her father's pharmacy and hates the job.  Has a very weak personality and tries to make up for her insecurities by making out with members of the high school football team.   

Bonnie Brown: has the whole school wrapped around her little finger, but is still seemingly perfect, innocent, wholesome, and genuine.  Secretly self-harms and goes through a short period of bulimia.  Very bothered by the pressure she faces from her uncle and parents.  Wants to express her hidden liberal and athiest views, but is too afraid that her family will disown her.  Wishes Brother would do more than just kiss her.  Googles "blow jobs" sometimes for kicks.  

Ralph Ripoff: framed for child molestation and eventually aquitted, but the incident scares him enough that he straightens his ways slightly.  Becomes a sort of Robin Hood for Bear Country.  Wrongly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but keeps the medication so he can sell it in Bear Country's black market.  

Too-Tall: drops out of regular classes and starts classes at a trade school to learn how to fix engines.  Develops significant anger issues and is court-mandated to weekly therapy sessions and group counseling.  Dreams of running away for good and starting his own auto parts shop like his dad.  Busted several times for DUIs and small-time marijuana dealing. 

Scuzz, Smirk, and Vinnie: useless and lost without Too-Tall at school to guide their every move.  Try to keep "the gang" together, but fail miserably.  No one respects them anymore.  Scuzz drops out and works at the the movie theater, sneaking in to watch all of the movies aimed towards little kids.  Smirk develops strange religious beliefs and tries to convert middle-school kids.  Vinnie is a pathetic class clown who, at this rate, will graduate high school in about 2022.  They all still wear their stupid hats. 

Mayor Honeypot: forced to resign after a horrific scandal involving a teenage girl (Queenie?) and a large sum of money missing from the Bear Country bank.  Still seen often strolling through the aisles at the grocery stores, whistling and mixing up the beginnings of words.  

Farmer Ben and Mrs. Ben: nearly lost the farm to eminent domain but fought to keep it and succeeded.  Won a lawsuit against a pesticide company and subsequently received an enormous sum of money.  Farmer Ben considered early retirement but instead decided he and Mrs. Ben would buy a private jet, just for kicks and giggles.  Ben is becoming slightly senile.  

Ferdy Factual: invents a cure for obesity and breast cancer but is forced to join witness protection after involvement in a large political conspiracy.  Got to have sex with Trudy before being shipped off.  

Harry McGill: terribly bitter about being stuck in a wheelchair, he becomes moody and withdrawn, listening to Nirvana and Slipknot constantly.  Creates an online alter ego and makes a lot of money through a blogging site.  Still friends with Brother, though.    

Babs Bruno: taps too far into her "inner self" and has becomes the ultimate poet- quoting poetry constantly and claiming to be Shakesbear's "soul mate."  Raises cats for fun and wears black every day in mourning of all of the "lost poets of history."

Gramps and Gran: Gran becomes overly religious and tries to push her conservative beliefs on everyone she meets, including strangers in the grocery store.  Is worried about her grandchildrens' souls.  Gramps humors her but dreams of driving away in the speedy red Roadster and starting a new life with another bear he met during Monday bingo at the Senior Citizens' Center.

Bertha Broom: finally decides she is a lesbian, becomes less quiet and very open about her sexual identity.  Is very accepting, pleasant, and kind to everyone, and no one picks on her for being gay.  One of the most popular cubs in Bear Country.  

Professor Actual Factual: falls in love with Teacher Jane during one of her classes' field trips to his museum.  After a very turbulant relationship, finally delivers her an ultimatum and she surprisingly agrees to marry him.  

Teacher Bob: receives "Teacher of the Year" award for yet another year in a row.  Wow.   

Squire Grizzly: goes through a very "dark period" during which he develops alcoholism.  Finally realizes that his life is falling apart and receives treatment and regularly attends AA meetings, although many of the members find him to be arrogant and pompous.   

Chief Bruno and Officer Margarite: finally realized that all they do all day is fight petty crime together and have no lives outside of their jobs, so they might as well just seal the deal and get married.  When not settling disputes between old men on the Bear Country sidewalks, the couple spends a lot of time in the backseat of the cop car.  Officer Margarite eventually decides her crime-fighting dress is outdated and selects a more up-to-date pantsuit. 

The Bogg Brothers: got out of prison early for "good behavior" and return to the bog, where they run a successful meth lab for several years.  Professor Actual Factual notices the area fish have high levels of gasoline additives, which leads a large investigation and the subsequent discovery of the meth lab.  They are sent back to prison and have plans for Actual Factual if they ever get out of prison.

That was fun. 

Q - Quote from a movie: "Pavlov's pothead- I hear a bong clink and my eyes start to water." -Igby Goes Down

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: duckygirl 

T - Time you wake up: Variable by each day

U - Underwear: Is there an option?

V - Vegetable you dislike: I really only hate saurkraut (but I love cabbage!) and beets

W - Workout style: Aerobic, cardio

X - X-rays you've had: Teeth, MRI, heart, lungs, arm (times like 40 when I broke it), foot, bone scans, kidneys

Y - Yesterday's best moment: Seeing John and Northwestern

Z - Zoo favorite: Birds, and the petting zoo